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Disclaimer - All characters are the property of Joss Whedon, Twentieth Century Fox, Mutant Enemy and anyone else involved with Buffy the Vampire Slayer. I have no connection with it at all. All relations to the episode 'Lovers Walk' are property of the above also.
Basic plot - This fic is set around 'Lovers Walk.' It is my idea of what would have happened if Oz and Cordelia had came to rescue Willow and Xander several minutes later than they did in the episode.
The moment that Oz discovered mine and Xander's relationship broke my heart, and Cordelia got hurt. It was the worst thing that had ever happened. All the demons, vampires and monsters couldn't compare to it. No matter how hard I tried to get the picture of everybody's expressions out of my head they wouldn't go away.
I love Oz, but I love Xander too. Oz loved me from the moment he first saw me, which is a lovely thought. I loved Xander for years, it took him a while to realize he felt the same way. But when I found out he did, I was so happy, the joy that I felt was unbelievable. I was so confused.
Because of my confusion I guess that's why I cast the spell, to sort out what I really wanted. A spell to turn back time, I'd found it in the summer and after all the events of Spike's reappearance I found it out again. I cast it so time went back to before Oz and Cordelia walked in on Xander and I. But before I finished the spell I cast a tiny extra spell which made Oz and Cordelia walk in five minutes later. Why? I don't why, I think I just wanted to share that kiss with Xander without interruptions.
* § *
I looked deeply into Xander's eyes. "We're not supposed to."
"Exception for impending death situation." Xander replied with a tiny smile.
We kissed and all the worries of dying disappeared from mind, all I could think about was how much I loved Xander. When I was with him my worries always disappeared no matter what was happening. But this occasion was important, was probably the last time we'd be together if we died. For some strange reason there were thoughts of how I'd hurt Oz in the back of my mind. It was like this whole scene playing out in my mind.
"Oh, God." Cordy gasped from behind me. I felt my world crumble.
Xander and I moved away from each other quickly. He stared at her also saying. "Oh, God."
That was went I noticed Oz was there too. "Oh, God Oz!" I gasped.
"We have to get out of here." He said simply.
He was right we did need to get out of there, relationships, love etc. weren't important right now. Cordy had already started to leave, she was running back up the stairs.
Xander got up and started to follow her. "Cordy, I-" He stopped as we all watched the stairs give way beneath her, she disappeared from view and we were faced with a huge cloud of dust.
But that was in my mind, that didn't happen. I broke away from the kiss and smiled. "We're not going to die, Buffy will find us."
Xander sat up and stroked my hair. "She will."
"At least I hope she will. But if we die, I want you to know that... I love you." I stood up and found myself walking back to the door to try it again. I knew it wouldn't budge, but maybe if I kept at it eventually the lock would break or something.
"I love you too." He whispered and followed me up the stairs.
We stood in front of the door. "Okay after three."
Xander nodded.
"One," I grabbed his hand. "Two... three!" I cried and we both ran at the door, I felt it buckle under the weight. But it wasn't actually us who had opened it. We tumbled out of the door and fell into Oz and Cordelia, we landed in a heap on the floor.
"We're free!" Xander cried.
Cordelia jumped up and brushed her clothes off.
"Is everybody okay?" I asked getting up myself.
Oz nodded and gave me a tiny hug.
"Good." I said and walked away from the door.
Xander ran his hands through his hair and stepped back, I heard a creak from the floor beneath him. That's when I remembered what I'd been thinking earlier, about the stairs giving way.
"Xander move!" I said quickly.
He stared at me. "Why?"
I didn't have chance to reply, I heard another loud creak and tiny clouds of dust began to rise from the floor beneath him. Oz noticed something strange too. And we both grabbed his arms as the stairs caved in below him. He cried out as he began to fall, but we pulled him up quickly.
"Okay a little to close for comfort." He whimpered. "Am I too young to have a heart attack?"
I smiled at him. "Not sure." I walked closer to the hole and looked in, Xander was beside me. It was dark down there and very dusty. But what I noticed scared me, there were several metal poles sticking out of the ground, they'd been supporting the staircase. So much for support.
"God!" Xander gasped and backed up pulling me with him.
I wanted to put my arms around him, if he'd fell down there, I think my life would have ended.
* § *
The next day I was sitting in the library alone. I'd seen Buffy, but she hadn't said anything to me, she seemed kinda sad about something but for once she wouldn't tell me what was wrong. I guessed it was something to do with Angel, it normally was, it made me sad how easily she got upset over him. It actually made me think would she every be happy?
But at the moment my life was just as complicated. Did I want Oz or did I want Xander? After Xander had a brush with death my whole life flashed before me, it was because I loved him. Did I feel that strongly towards Oz though? I wasn't really sure.
"Hey, Will." Xander said from behind me.
I turned and looked at him, I decided he looked cute. "Hi."
"Where's Buffy?" He asked and sat on the desk in front of me.
"I saw her earlier, but she seemed sorta cut up about something. I think she wants to be on her own." That's what I wanted to be really, I mean I didn't mind Xander being there really.
"Probably something to do with dead boy, huh?" He grinned. "He's no good for her, always making her depressed. What use is a depressed Slayer?"
"Don't know, but they're in love. When you're in love nothing really matters." I looked to the doors for a moment then back at Xander. "I want to talk about us!" I said sternly.
He nodded.
"Xander, what do you want to do?"
"What do you mean?"
"I mean, what do you want to do about us?"
"I dunno, what do you want to do?"
I sighed. "I'm not sure."
The library doors swung open, we both turned and looked to them. Oz was walking towards me. "Hey, baby." He said casually.
I felt myself cringe. "Hi." I whispered. Then I did something I didn't really think about, it just sorta came out. "Oz, I want to break up."
Xander's gaze left Oz and fell onto me, I could hear him muttering under his breath. Something like: "I thought you loved Oz."
I did, but I loved Xander more.
"You do?" Oz asked a moment later.
I nodded sadly, not really sure if I had made the right decision.
He didn't say anything, he just left. Walked out of the library, probably out of the school. And that hurt.
"Willow?" Xander placed his hand on mine.
I didn't know what to do I just began to cry, and fell into Xander's embrace crying against his shoulder.
"That was really brave of you." He said stroking my hair. I would of replied but I found myself unable to speak. "You're the bravest girl I know, Will."
I smiled up at him. "I just wish it didn't hurt so much."
"You'll make it." He assured me, and I knew I would.
Waiting for Xander to arrive that evening was like watching paint dry, but not normal paint, that paint that takes about three days to dry. I wanted to see him desperately, it was like a craving. A strong craving, nothing like a craving for chocolate or chips, just sort of a desire. Desire which is like lust, I was lusting after Xander, that was new!I watched the clock on my desk tick from minute to minute, the stiff jolt as time passed by. It was the certain reminder that the world was still turning around me, still continuing its daily, yearly, cycle. I often wondered that: would you know if someone stopped time? Like your whole body would freeze but your mind would still be active. That was a scary thought to have, your mind still working, but not being able to move or speak.
Imagine if you couldn't talk. You'd have no way to express your true feelings, even though I find it hard to say things sometimes. Saying I love you wouldn't be possible. But love being the strongest power on earth we would find a way that was true.
"Will?" Xander placed his hands on my shoulders.
"Hi." He looked a little down. "Are you okay?" I asked softly.
"Fine." He replied and shut the bedroom door. "I broke up with Cordy."
"Why?" I gasped, but it was really obvious why.
"I want to be with you." He whispered. "Forever."
I smiled not really sure what to say in response, but he didn't give me chance to respond anyway. Before I knew it his lips were against mine and his arms around my waist. We were sharing our first real kiss, a kiss without complications, no Cordelia, no... Oz. It was a kiss that was just us, no one else mattered.
"Will?" Xander said gently. I'd been so gone with the moment that I hadn't even realized he'd moved away from me.
"Huh?" I blinked, then smiled. "Sorry."
"S'okay." He returned my smile and sat behind me on my bed. "You been surfing?" He asked.
"What? Surfing, I've never been on as surfboard in my life?"
"The net, Will."
I should have known he meant that, sometimes I can be so stupid it's like a trait. I nodded and leaned back against him.
"What were you nosing at?" He asked tracing his fingers up my arm.
"Spells." I replied and rolled over on to my stomach to look at him. "What else would I research? It's a hobby now. Amy was here a little earlier we were looking together."
"You're spending more time with her now?"
"Yeah, we cast small spells together, find new ones, pig out on brownies." I giggled. "It's a lot of fun, Amy's really nice and her witchcraft abilities are amazing!"
"Ah, but not as good as my little Willow. You restored dead boys soul, takes a lot of talent that does."
"How do we know that? It was my first real spell. I bet you could have done it."
"You really have that much faith in me?" He smiled.
I smirked and moved closer to him. "Maybe." I said and kissed him softly.
The End